Scared scurred eeeek!!!

I’ve enjoyed my months of being off a diet. It started the end of October and is pretty much just now wrapping up. I haven’t weighed myself but I’m sure I managed to gain 15 pounds. I don’t really mind- I don’t think I’m going to ever want to diet during the holidays. But besides the weight let’s look at my other side effects of eating like crap:
-feeling like poop
-not being able to poop
-having urgent care worthy poop owies (notice a trend here?)
-intolerable hip bursitis
-bruises all over
-tummy bloating and scary gas (ugh)
-lower back pain
-costochondritis (I’m guessing from overall inflammation)
-skin issues (dry skin, oily skin)
-three colds in three months
-severe lethargy
-brain fog
-did I mention I also gained 15 pounds?

Some of the things I ate were worth it- stuffing, pumpkin pie, potatoes and gravy, and Christmas cookies. But the rest? I don’t really remember. But I’ll remember the negative symptoms. At least, I hope I will. I wrote down all the negative ones I could think of because I want to remember what I’m up against, even if most of them are embarrassing to talk about.

But right now I’m feeling a bit lost in the land of getting back to eating like normal. Not getting back on a diet, just back to eating in a way that makes my body happy. No sugar no starch was very easy for me to sustain and I never felt like I was on a diet. It was never really that hard. I’m terrified, almost paralyzed from fear that any diet I start in a week is going to be hard and I’ll fail. I don’t want it to be hard.

I’m also scared I’m going to follow the wrong plan. I believe in the paleo diet for health. But high fat, low carb makes my body happy too. Last year I did a two week fruit/veggie/beans detox and lost 15 pounds in two weeks. What about just cutting out gluten? Would that get rid of my inflammation issues? Or is the inflammation from the PUFAs? And the high blood sugar? If I go low carb but use fake sweeteners is that going to keep me in pain? What’s the cheapest option? I’ve got a seriously bumpy financial year ahead and I can’t spend $60 a week on produce….

Add on top of all of this the fact that I want more kids- ideally we’d have a baby in 2014. But that could involve a 2013 pregnancy. I want to be eating a nutrient dense diet for at least 3-6 months before getting pregnant. I feel like I know in my heart the best diet, but it’s not cheap, not easy, not simple, not fast. Basically a ketogenic paleo diet. But oh goodness, the work that style of eating would entail overwhelms me.

So we will see. Right now I’m exhausted, achy, full of NSAIDs, feel years away from being healthy let alone having a baby, and I really just want to sleep in a bath tub. Sigh…

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